Letting Go and Falling into the Unknown

If you are struggling with any type of compulsion or addiction, I recommend two books. The Spirituality of Imperfection and When Things Fall Apart.

Both books offer vaulable insight into how our ego is constantly edging out our spirituality. They also explore the ancient spiritual underpinnings to the modern cultural admonition, "Let it go."

I struggled for a long time with understanding my spirituality. At first, I believed it had to do in believing in God and that If I did all the right things I would be protected, both here and in the after life.

Then I realized it was learning to yield to a "higher power," to something greater than myself. I understood I was not in control of anything, the least of which, myself.

While yielding to a higher power was an essential step, the real breakthrough came when I truly grasped that all life is impermanent, transitory, uncertain and ambiguous. Facing that insecurity was what I had been trying to avoid. I wanted certainty, I wanted control, I wanted an anchor. The ironic thing is that my drive for these things put me into an emotional and psychological prison, and it was only after giving up my need for these things and able to let go that I truly experienced freedom.

Until I grasped and accepted this, I over analysed events, trying to make sense of everything to the point of tedium. I took fervent positions on what was right and wrong. Each trangression grew into a crisis unless I could understand it and gain control of it. Each small thought grew into an overwhelming obsession.

When you realize that you are very small, and that you are transitory, a great burden is lifted from your soul - you just don't take yourself that seriously any longer. I don't mean that you let people walk all over you or that you give up your boundaries, I mean that you are less inclined to impose your will onto people and things; you also reduce your expectations of what life owes you. You are able to detach from the fears and uncertainly in life and fill it with compassion and understanding.

When we are confronted with what appears to be a mountain of troubles, that mountain is reduced to rubble when you are able to grasp the wisdom of the bromide, "This too shall pass."