My Mistress

My father once said, "gamblers don't have time for girlfriends." What he didn't say was, "that's because gambling is their mistress."

What he and I didn't know was that the word mistress comes from the French "mestresse" which means master. The original meaning of mistress was a woman who has power, authority, or ownership.

To whatever we are addicted that is our mistress and we are her slaves.

I have written several posts about the "gambling whore," and while I feel the metaphore is accurate, we can also refer it as our mistress. The "whore" description fits because the attraction to gambling is "hot" and compulsive, but the mistress is appropriate as well as because it is in every way the most important thing in our lives, competing for attention from wives, families and careers.

Anyone who is addicted to gambling knows that the gambling mistress is always in the back of his mind. She tempts us with her appeal and we often can't wait to run to her. And then there is the guilt and duplicity.

And just as with a mistress, something has got to give: either we give up the mistress and return to our families, or we desert them for the mistress. And we know what the odds are of staying with the mistress -- the affair usually ends up crashing and burning.

We are not meant to be slaves to anything or anybody. When we are, our spirit is destroyed and and we lose our self respect. We are not meant to prostrate ourselves, and forfeit our dignity for those things which control us. It is better to admit defeat and that we have lost control of ourselves. I'm sure even the mistress understands that.