The Glory of Imperfection

In all my readings on human growth and consciousness, the single most persistent theme that emerges is this: To be fully human we must be independent. Another way of saying this is dependency is a killer of the soul.

In spiritual (not religious) terms, the soul, the intuition, our creativity flourishes when they are not bound by matters of the mind. Worry, obsessions, and ruminations about problems (people, work, finances) rarely bring the solutions we need to move past our troubles. Yet, we rely on our problem-solving abilities, our neo-cortex thinking to find solutions to our difficulties.

The thinking part of our brains are phenomenal for discovering new vaccines and for space exploration, but when it comes to matters of love, friendship, family, and personal direction, we are best to trust them to the quiet vestibules of our heart and soul. It is in that sacred space where we learn to trust and let go, rather than exhausting ourselves running on the treadmill of worry.

We have all laid awake in the middle of the night with the slide show of rumination clicking endlessly through our minds. Our minds will never let go enough to allow the fluffy clouds of sleep carry us away if we are problem solving. Worry is a form of mental alertness, requiring certain chemicals that keep us in "fight or flight" mode.

To trade such a scenario of worry for the escape of gambling is no bargain. Gambling relies on the same mental infrastructure and dynamics as worry. The only difference is that gambling replaces the previous "worry loop" with a new one complete with its own built-in system of rewards/frustration and high/lows, making it equally if not more compulsive.

So what does all this have to do with independence? Let's go back to our discussion of the difference between the problem-solving mind and the soul. The thinking mind is always trying to find a solution, an answer to the problem, a fix it. But do we have to? What would happen if we let go and trust that we are alright with whatever solution comes our way? Perhaps the gift of every problem is the lesson of acceptance even if it is not what we had hoped for. There are going to be many times we look into the darkness and see no solutions no matter how much we worry. But that is when we find our true character - our imperfect selves - and as the wise counsel goes, "That is what saves us from the darkness." And isn't that what we are all looking for -- an acceptance and love of ourselves independent of what is happening around us?